*I Love You Rituals*

I Love You Rituals by Becky A. Bailey is a great book. It has 204 pages of fun activities for parents and children to do together to build that true connection that many families (without realizing it) lack. They are not only fun for both parent and child (grandmother, aunts, uncles, teachers, anyone involved with the child) but they boost the child's brain potential, encourage cooperation, builds bonds of unconditional love-- and even increases attention spans and decreases those frustrating power struggles that may occur in our daily life.

Before getting into the positive nursery rhymes and fun games and finger plays-- the author talks about the four vital goals of I Love You Rituals and includes a few real life examples that really make sense. A couple of them actually brought me to tears because I Love You Rituals can make a HUGE difference-- not only for children...but for adults, too (just tweak them a little for an older child, teenager, or adult). The second chapter talks about discipline and how you can easily fit I Love You Rituals into that. A parent doesn't have to get frustrated or yell at a child-- there are I Love You Rituals that can fit into many situations that may happen or will happen.
There is also a short chapter on ensuring success and positive encouragement for the parent/guardian as well. I also want to add that I love the positive quotes that are listed in the beginning of each chapter. =]

The rest of the book is packed with wonderful songs and easy to learn games to have that special connection and really do boost the child's mood, increases understanding, and plain and simple-- gets the child to listen AND be happy/fulfilled at the same time.

Just last night my three-year-old son was so tired and exhausted from his morning and afternoon at school-- he was unable to vocally put his feelings into words. All he was able to do was collapse to the floor and cry and dangerously flail around because he was so mentally exhausted. It was impossible for me to talk to him in the frame he was in--he didn't even want me to hug him. I remembered an I Love You Ritual for just this situation. A special song. I grabbed his teddy bear quick (we call it his makwa--"bear" in Ojibwe)... and I scooped him in to my arms and sat on the couch with him and sang the "Snuggle Up" song to him. The song ends with, "...just cuddle yourself..And the bear with a hug." Instead of 'bear' though-- I sang 'makwa'. I don't think I sang for five minutes before he was totally relaxed...he was able to return the hug I was giving him...his breathing returned to normal...and he fell asleep. It was an amazing feeling to be the one in control. Because the reality is...when a child is acting that way-- they are in control. You have to step in and be in control-- to help that child with his/her feelings. That song helped me do just that.

There have been I Love You Rituals to help both of my sons feel better about waking up, going to school/child care, going to sleep...and my youngest can stay still while I'm changing his diaper now. There is an I Love You Ritual for many things-- any sort of change that may occur, sadness, owies, transitions, etc. I Love You Rituals may even help those children that are labeled as problematic-- and children with special needs. They can be used great in the process of a family member's death, a divorce, even the birth of a new sibling.

Here is an example positive nursery rhyme from I Love You Rituals... which one would you rather share with your child?

There was an old lady
who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children,
she didn't know what to do.
She fed them some broth
without any bread,
And whipped them all soundly
and sent them to bed.

If you ask me, that sounds very hurtful and would no way calm my child if I shared that with him. Here's the positive replacement that is from I Love You Rituals...

A wonderful woman
lived in a shoe.
She had so many children,
she knew exactly what to do.
She held them, she rocked them,
and tucked them in bed.
"I love you, I love you,"
is what she said.

I did the game that is in I Love You Rituals that includes that last song with my children and they really enjoyed the connection we had. The squeal of delight they get and the big loving smile I see....it is worth the extra time to do these activities. And it definitely makes happier children.

There is an "Other Works by Dr. Becky Bailey" page which include CDs and Cassettes, Videotapes, Books, Audiotapes, and Keynotes and Lectures. The book even comes with two CDs that have over 70 songs on them! It is a miracle in the car-- =] !

So, over-all, I highly recommend this book. I'm also interested in her other works. I will definitely check them out. Thanks for stopping!